I think it’s going to be hard. But I’ll get through it. I spent the entire weekend closed up in my room listening to music and playing X-Box games, just trying to get the image of Sarah talking with Chad out of my head. I spent hours playing through Ultimate Spider-Man. Sure, it’s an older game on an older game system, but it’s a pretty awesome one. You spend part of the game playing as Spidey and the other part playing as Venom.
It’s not as good as the Spider-Man 2 game was, which I still enjoy farting around with, but it’s still pretty decent. It has an incredible open environment to roam around in, some good challenges and intense fighting action.
Lord knows I can use the fighting action to let off a little steam.
For the past couple of months I’ve been pretty good while sitting on the bus. Pretty good about picking a spot where I can’t see Sarah and she can’t see me.
But this morning, for the first time since we broke up, she was sitting in a seat across the aisle just a few rows ahead. And there was nobody blocking my view. I tried to focus on my Gameboy, tried to read my magazine, but I couldn’t help continually looking up trying to catch another glimpse of her.
And I try not to think about what Sarah and I would have likely have planned for tomorrow. And with that, of course, wondering if she's going to be doing something with this Chad guy who's been hanging around her a lot lately.
This must be what addicts go through when exposed to that thing -- whatever it happens to be for their addiction -- that pushes them over the edge. I guess, for me, Sarah is that thing. I'm over her, I'm really trying to be. But when I get close to her, when I see her again, I have to "get over it" all over again.